AcE Posted May 3, 2009 Author Share Posted May 3, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
holback Posted May 3, 2009 Share Posted May 3, 2009 A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young Mothers and their small children. 'You all have obsessions,' he Observed. To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.' He turned to the second Mom, Ann: 'Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny. He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: 'Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your Child's name, Brandy. At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got Up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, 'Come on, Dick, this guy Has no idea what he's talking About. Let's go pick up Peter and Willy from school and go get Dinner.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
holback Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 The Business Section asked readers for ideas on "How Would You Fix the Economy?" I think this guy nailed it! Dear Mr. President, Please find below my suggestion for fixing America 's economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars to companies that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan: There are about 40 million people over 50 in the work force. - Pay them $1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations: 1) They MUST retire. Forty million job openings - Unemployment fixed. 2) They MUST buy a new American CAR. Forty million cars ordered - Auto Industry fixed. 3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed. It can't get any easier than that! P.S. If more money is needed, have all members in Congress and their constituents pay their taxes.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spectral Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 It was once said that a black man will become president when pigs fly... well... "Swine Flu" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dominator Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 (edited) This applies everywhere, even here. LOL Edited May 7, 2009 by Dominator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blindsided Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 Cold Feet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LOG Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucky_Fr4gg3r Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 The second one is brilliant :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icemaster Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 and my favorite :P :P :P (right click and view image to read the text) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AcE Posted July 5, 2009 Author Share Posted July 5, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Piggy Posted July 5, 2009 Share Posted July 5, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AcE Posted July 5, 2009 Author Share Posted July 5, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niki* Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Husband wanted A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again. She put an ad in the local paper that read: HUSBAND WANTED: MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's), MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME & MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!! ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON. On the second day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs. The old woman said, 'You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you ... you have no legs! The old man smiled, 'Therefore, I cannot run around on you!' She snorted. 'You don't have any arms either!' Again, the old man smiled, 'Therefore, I can never beat you!' She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, 'Are you still good in bed???' The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, 'Rang the doorbell didn't I?' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
McBain{TibeT} Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LOG Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 It was once said that a black man will become president when pigs fly... well... "Swine Flu" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
holback Posted July 7, 2009 Share Posted July 7, 2009 What is the best time at Neverland? When the big hand touches the little one... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niki* Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T CLICK HERE!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icemaster Posted July 8, 2009 Share Posted July 8, 2009 lmao my eyes hurt now lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AcE Posted July 8, 2009 Author Share Posted July 8, 2009 WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T CLICK HERE!!! Definitely don't click if you have epilepsy or... fit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niki* Posted July 9, 2009 Share Posted July 9, 2009 Ace Lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LOG Posted July 15, 2009 Share Posted July 15, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blindsided Posted July 21, 2009 Share Posted July 21, 2009 - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
D-FRED-BROWN Posted July 24, 2009 Share Posted July 24, 2009 Heres a robot you can have a conversation with... Quite amusing (mine eventually asked me for beer :lol:) http://cleverbot.com/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoadWarrior Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 I thought it was funny. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niki* Posted October 12, 2009 Share Posted October 12, 2009 Lol ^^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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